Tallinn, Estonia

My first destination was just a simple overnight bus ride to Tallinn, the capital of Estonia. For some reason, most likely strained relations between Russia and ex-Soviet states, there is no longer a train going from St. Petersburg to Tallinn despite the short distance. The bus route takes you through some back roads, most unpaved, which are probably not fit to have a top heavy bus on them. There were multiple times during the short journey where I was jarred awake by that darned inner ear.

One of my least favorite things in the world is border control. This one was not that bad. The Russian side of things is pretty normal. They take your documents (Passport, Visa, Migration Card, Registration), give you some dirty looks, stamp a bunch of things, and hand you back your passport, visa, and sometimes your registration which is useless at this point. The border control on the Estonian is just fantastically convenient. The border guard comes on the bus, takes your documents, and returns them with stamps. You can practically sleep through it. Also there are castles at the Narva border crossing. It's quite the cool welcome.

I arrived in Tallinn probably around 6AM which meant I got old town to myself for a couple hours. Well that's not exactly true; there were a few drunks still puttering about.

Regardless, Old Town Tallinn is quaint as hell. Narrow cobblestone paths and streets, lots of interesting buildings, lost of interesting shops, definitely completely different from Russia. It was simply enough to walk around. The nice people offering me spiced nuts made Tallinn feel kinda like Disneyland. That, and everyone spoke English. It was kinda disappointing.

Tallinn has, allegedly, one of the best Christmas markets in Europe. I was impressed. There were all sorts of booths, most selling some handmade crafts and some form of mulled wine. Because I have never tried that wine before, I decided to buy some of the non-alcoholic kind. The sign said "non-alcoholic" but what it really should have said was "Lots of added cognac". And that's how I got tipsy at noon and almost got lost finding the hostel. 

Like wine, but tastes even grosser

Hostel Shenanigans
Being the off-season, I was one of 3 people in the hostel. Within 15 minutes of arrival, I began to hear something reminiscent of an Herbal Essences commercial coming from the room next door. Then, while I was making myself some tea in the kitchen, a half-Indian, quarter-British, quarter-Dutch man comes in all a flutter, complaining about his stolen luggage from the last hostel he was staying in. He says, "I had 30 pieces of clothing in that bag, plus a smart phone, and a brand-new dildo. I didn't even get to USE it yet".
Well, Good to know.