Train Tips and Stories

So I feel like 4 trips and more than 72 hours in platzkart is quite an accomplishment. Here are some tips in case you ever decide to cruise Russia on rail.

1) Use the Rzd website to reserve and purchase tickets. Yes, it's in Russian, but any idiot with google translate can figure it out. Why use it? You get exactly the same price there as you do in the ticket offices. If you use a third party website or service to purchase your tickets for you, you'll probably end up paying 30%-40% more than you would by purchasing direct. Also, the platzkart option will most likely not be offered.
2) By purchasing online, you now need to head to the train station and use the ticket printing kiosk to obtain your tickets. It's super easy to use and a billion times faster than using the ticket office.
3) Traveling alone? Don't want to be locked in a box with 3 strangers who probably smell 'interesting'? Use platzkart. It's the third class, open compartment option offered in every former-USSR country. I can't speak to it specifically, but I've read from other female travelers that this is safer than second or first class because it's open, and the openness keeps people honest.
4) Don't forget your tracksuit. Approximately 20 minutes after your train departs, the clock strikes pantsless o'clock. Almost everyone changes into more comfortable clothes for the journey like tracksuits (velour, or 'mafia red or white), pj's, or other loose fitting clothes. This brings us to...
5) Slippers. Don't forget your slippers. No matter how many times the stewardess mops the aisles, the floor is still disgusting and you don't want to be wearing your outside shoes the entire time. Literally everyone has them on the train, and assuming you're near social people (or babushki) you will be asked why you don't have them.
6) Bring a cup, tea, and coffee. Every wagon has a boiler in it and the boiling hot water is free. If you bring a cup, you can fill it as many times as you want and be sufficiently hydrated for your journey. You can also buy tea, coffee, and sometimes cocoa from the stewardess for no more than 30 rubles AND you get to drink it out of one of those sweet podstakanniki!
7) Also ramen. For food, you can bring what ever you want on the train, but because the water is free, why not bring some ramen or instant potatoes. Ramen in Russia is pretty good, and on the whole, seems to be more involved than ramen in the States. Some varieties come with meat sauce (I don't quite know what that means) or miniature meat balls (think kibble-like chunks of freeze-dried meat product).
8) Think of another excuse to refuse alcohol other than "I'm taking antibiotics" because they've caught on, and it doesn't work anymore. On the way to Volgograd after we all woke up, the men in the lower bunks decided 9:30am was an appropriate time to start downing the pepper vodka. Having found out the night before that I was a foreigner, they probably thought it would be fun to get me drunk or something. I tried refusing, saying that I was taking antibiotics and the medicine wouldn't work if mixed with booze. They countered with "booze is better medicine, drink!". After about half an hour of this, I decided it was easier to take booze from strangers than to argue. This started some pretty good conversation and was a fantastic experience.
9) Russians might offer you food, so you might want to bring something to share as well. On the trip from Volgograd to Moscow, I shared the compartment with some middle-aged women who were just the nicest people ever. They also had a strange desire to feed the foreigner. Tried refusing, didn't work, ended up eating cookies with my favorite cheese, kolbasny cheese (literally sausage cheese, and it's one of the cheaper cheese, probably the Russian equivalent of American cheese).
10) Layers. Bring layers. The trips I had varied from freezing to boiling hot.
11) Train rides can be the most fun, or the scariest experience ever. On the way back from Moscow, there were two very drunk soccer hooligans in my compartment. Granted, I had the worst compartment in the wagon-- the one next to the toilets-- but jeez, that night was bad. Shortly after departure, I realized one of the drunks had a fully-loaded gun. Needless to say, I didn't sleep that night.